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Hell to the NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Now where am I gonna get my Gangsta Rap music?????????

I have just one question

Ok so I have lots of questions about the stupid shit that happens in my life, but today I just have one for you. Why the hell do dogs eat cat shit. I mean what could possibly be so appetizing about another animal's shit. The entire thought of it is completely disgusting. And it's not like my dog is the only retard that does it, I've had plenty of other people tell me their stupid ass dogs do it too.

What I find interesting about this whole cat shit eating compulsion my dog has, is that I really think she knows on some level that the habit is disgusting, that's why she waits till I am out of the room to sneak down into the basement for her turd fix. I swear that damn dog is addicted to eating those crispy on the outside yet tender in the middle logs. It's like her freaking crack or something........anybody know of a good rehab program to reform this turd muncher?

That was Awkward, now quit doing that

So you all know that I teach Special Education, and this year I am blessed to have my students for a full 5 hours a day, non stop, the same kids, hour after hour…..ok you get my point here right, just saying it can get a bit tedious dealing with the same pool of individuals and the drama that accompanies it you know?

So needless to say my kids have quite a few social issues, in essence they are socially retarded in a lot of ways, and well tend to be the butt of ridicule and jokes. So me being the bright spot in their self esteem challenged day am always looking for ways to boost their fragile egos. And what better way to do that than to laugh at others who are even more socially inept than they are? Thanks to youtube there is always an endless supply of social tards to choose from……case in point, socially awkward from the beginning to end

 

Why do I subject myself to such things?

I admit it, I love haunted houses. I know in my mind that shit is all theatrics and all but damn I have to say they are awesome. So last weekend I decided to go through the Barn of Blood. Yeah corny name but what the hell it was only five bucks.

So I'm standing outside waiting to pay someone to scare the shit out of me when they go though the legal stuff, no cell phones, enter at your own risk, don't touch the actors, note to self they are actors, ok blah blah blah.
So as you go through these things you kinda get a feeling when something is gonna happen, and you brace yourself for it, but damn as I rounded this one corner I didn't expect this blood sucking zombie vampire to jump up at me from the floor. Son of a bitch he scared the shit out of me and damn if I didn't haul off and deck the dude. Not only did I hit him, but then I profusely apologized for hitting him. How screwed up is it that I am telling someone who I am paying to scare me that I'm sorry I decked them while they were wheeling a chainsaw in my face. I know completely whacked thinking.....only in America I tell ya, only in America...Sweet Jesus I love this country!

My Favorite Reality TV Show

Contributed by Maria Ruiz
I admit it. I am a misogynist and a sadist, and I enjoy watching women prostitute themselves on reality television whenever possible. This is why I am a fan of The Bachelor. The show is basically about desperate women throwing themselves at an eligible bachelor, but that is not the true premise of the show. The women are actually throwing themselves at the camera, trying to convince the public that they are worthy of their fifteen minutes of fame. This is why The Bachelor is such an amazing piece of television.

I enjoy watching this so-called Bachelor buy into the fact that these women want him, when all they really want is the fame. It is interesting to see the egotistical nature of man, to see him feed his own ego in a show designed for the sole purpose making women look stupid. In this sense it is the man who looks the fool. So when I say that women are prostituting themselves, I don't mean that in the pejorative sense. I am being complimentary of their pursuit to achieve fame at all costs. The Bachelor, on the other hand, ultimately gains nothing from the process, as he must be bound to a woman he ultimately will divorce, and thus look like an evil jerk, while the women who are dumped will appear sympathetic. This compelling drama is why I watch The Bachelor on satellite TV from Direc4u.com.

Open Wide

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If you are currently not seeing a dentist for your dental care, you should consider finding one so you can take care of dental problems while they are minor and easy to take care of service wise and also with less cost.  

Many people have not seen a dentist for some time for various reasons, maybe they had a bad experience, they have lost their benefits, or simply are in search of a new office for their dental services.  

A great way to find a dentist is to seek out recommendations from friends, family and colleagues. You should also search online as this will throw up a whole list of dentists, orthodontists and cosmetic dentists in your area.  The choices and resources are there, now is the time to be proactive and take care of those dental needs before you experience bigger problems.

I can't say they didn't try..............

Newest Cult of Kat Member

I've been thinking about featuring new followers for awhile, and then it seemed like I was stuck at 90 followers for what seemed like forever. So since I finally got another follower I decided I'd start a new tradition of featuring a follower from time to time.  So welcome Jennifer from Is it in Yet..... to the crazy world of what we call The Short bus. Fasten your seat belt and put your helmet on, its going to be a bumpy ride.

I hear she's got an itchy ass...............

So there you are at the grocery store, going up and down the aisles picking out all those regular things you purchase every week when you round the corner and run into someone you haven't seen for awhile. Of course you start chit chatting with them about what they've been up to and then the convervation turns toward you.

Just as you are telling them about how crazy your life seems to be lately, you notice that they're checking out all the shit you've got in your cart. Yeah they are downright taking fucking inventory of all the bottles of vodka, that tube of ointment for your itchy va jay jay, and that tube of preparation H. Seriously I never look at what someone else has in their cart, it doesn't freaking dawn on me to even think about it. But I'll be damned if it doesn't fucking happen to me all the time.  What the hell is up with that anyway. The worst.....when you run into other people who you go to church with, or better yet that pastor or priest! Ugh! Oh and by the way I have neither an itchy vagina or ass......just trying to make a point....So my question  is does this happen to you, or am I the only fucknut it happens to? 

Dialing down my inner Bitch

The other day I was being my normal demanding self insisting that my students pay attention to me when I notice one male student with his hood on top his head and his head planted squarely on his desk. Typically this means they've decided to take a nappy poo during my wonderfully educataional lecture.

Me being the bitch I am,  insisted that he wake the fuck up and actually pay attention to me. I know how dare I right, but sometimes hindsight is 20/20. I come to find out this same kid claimed to have tried to hang himself in his closet that morning. Personally I think it's a far fetched story, I think any parent who walked in on their kid trying to off themselves wouldn't pick them up, dust them off and send them to school. But it does kinda make me think I need to dial on my inner bitch at times. At least it's Friday, hellz yeah!

Why is it that?????????

Why is it that it's always the ugly people who decide to be nudists????????

Rooting for the Underdog

I consider myself a survivor in my own rights, so I'm always inspired by other people's survival stories and their journey to fight their demons......this is just one of them

Keep fighting the good fight Josh and kick some Yankee ass!

Did anyone ever tell you, you look like.............

So I was watching that incredibly stupid movie Land of the Lost this weekend when I made the discovery that one of my students is the spitting image of the character Khakka..........well he's not covered in fur from head to toe but damn I am telling you they could be twins. It's really kinda freaky how much they look alike. So my question is do you think it'll damage his psychie for life if I tell him he's the spitting image of a fur covered cave man? Ahh what the hell, he's goes out of his way to be a pain in my ass daily, screw his fragile psychie.

Crazy Shit I do while on Ambian

So I've talked about how I take Ambian to help me sleep at night, my therapist prescribed it for me over a year ago and I have to admit that shit is the next best thing to sliced bread. When I first started taking it one of my blog readers told me to "be careful" because when he first started taking it he emailed everyone in his contact list one night telling them he had lost his penis..........yeah...I couldn't make that shit up if I tried.

Now fortunately I'm not as sensitive to this shit as they were....unless well I take a double dose. That's when things get bat shit crazy and you are doing stuff that you vaguely remember the next day and shit you downright  don't remember. I swear that stuff is like leagized roofies. You wake up in the morning and swear you're reinacting a fucking scence from The Hangover.

Let's just say I vagely remember something about the cat getting out of the house, me trying to get it back in and me pissing my pants in the process. That stuff is a gloried memory eraser I tell ya, and I can testify that it makes you a complete blithering idiot. Seriously you say shit that make absolutely no sense at all. Carring on a legimate conversation with another human being is an impossiblity, because you sound like a fucking tard. Don't believe me then just watch this..........  just don't piss your pants.

Why is it....................

Why is it that when I have to take a day off and call a sub, my student's feel the need to behave like a teacher's worst nightmare? Seriously it's like they go crazy when I'm not there. I've had subs leave in the middle of the day, openly break down and cry and have to "take a break from the madness" and flat out refuse to ever sub for me again. Now it's not like I don't have class management skills, I do. I run a tight ship, and there are boundaries, and for the most part the students acknowledge it and respect it. But damn every time I am out for a day it's like the bat shit crazy comes out in them............and I spend the whole next day undoing and dealing with all the chaois that occured the day before.

Oh and the one thing I always hear from the kids the next day..........man don't ever get that sub again she was such a bitch! Yeah well maybe if you wankers had shut you frigging trap for one second and followed the classroom rules like you  are expected to she might have been less "bitchy".  Sometime I wonder if my subs drink themselves into a drunken stupor after subbing for me? What can I say, you gotta be "special" to handle the short bus.