Every once in awhile I decide to do some housekeeping and clean out my text message inbox on my phone. So I pull up the menu and start checking off the "delete message boxes" then hit delete.
That's when I recently went into a sudden panic attack thinking I had deleted "all" my messages instead of the checked ones. Normally this wouldn't be such a drama queen moment for me except there are a few messages that I didn't want to erase.
You see the one's I didn't want to erase were the last one's I received from a friend before they died back in June. Since they were intubated and unable to talk, texting was the only form of communication before their death, one of the last texts came within hours of their death. Then of course the one that I was dreading coming from a family member only moments after they left this world.
For the life of me I can't understand why I feel this need to hang on to them. It's like if I erase them I will be erasing the memory of their friendship. I know they are just words on a screen, but I can't bring myself to erase them, at least not right now.
It's weird because every once in a while I get a text from that phone, his daughter inherited the phone and sometimes I think I'm getting text messages from the beyond, which kinda fucking freaks me at for a second. Needless to say I am sure someone else is getting a good chuckle out of it too. Oh and it ends up that I didn't actually delete the wanted texts, which just leaves me in the same predicament. Ughh sometimes I just think about stuff too much.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
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It's not strange at all to want to hang on to that physical reminder, of someone close who passed away. It's a bit like it was for us, putting my mother's clothes away to box from the wardrobe. It was a sign for me she's not coming back, admitting it's time to move on. Although the boxes stayed somwhere in the house for years. Nobody was brave enough to pick them up and dispose of them entirely. nobody wanted to be guilty of moving on... betrayal?
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing Kat. I leave my voicemails/emails/texts until they fill up and then delete them all without even looking. I know it's bad and I can't help it. But I do agree with keeping the ones from your friend. It's sentimental value that means a lot sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog on blogcatalog and I like it. After glancing at some of your posts, I think that you can bring some valuable input to my site, where people come from around the world to share their thoughts and debate on popular topics.
ReplyDeleteYou should check it out. If people like your thoughts towards these topics, they probably would check out your site. Just wanted to let you know.
Thanks guys for your comments, I am hoping that one day I can let go of them, without regret, right now just doesn't seem the right time. I am not sure when the right time will be.
ReplyDeletedid you delete all my messages?
ReplyDeleteIs this a text from the beyond? if so no. ok that is creeping me out a bit
ReplyDeleteso you didn't delete my voice mails either then?
ReplyDeleteIts pretty strange, did all your messages get deleted?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds very creeping....
ReplyDeleteOh.........its very strange.
ReplyDelete@ Mutuelle, no the messageages didn't get deleated
ReplyDelete@Rachat and Difiscalisation yeah it is creepy especially when I am getting the annymous comments like the ones above lol
I think that your feelings and your response in this regard are quite natural for anyone who is considerate and and has been blessed with a loving and sensitive nature.
ReplyDeleteI'm not dead you have my cell number
ReplyDelete