Seriously.....it wasn't me

As you all know from past posts that some weird and downright idiotic sh*t goes down in my classroom on a pretty consistent basis. Friday was no exception to the rule......about half way through 5th hour the principal comes over the loud speaker saying we're in a lockdown....no one in, no one out...and by the way the "dogs" will be searching the building.  Well when they bring in the dogs it means only one thing....a drug bust.

So in these situations we just continue teaching as usual and carry on as normal.....about 10 minutes after the announcement I gave my students some independent work to do at their desks....a few minutes into the assignment I noticed that one of my students was acting  extremely agitated and called him over to my desk to ask him what the hell what his problem was.

That's when he starts wigging out on me and says smell my hands....yes I know this sounds weird but you'd be surprised how often kids ask me to "smell" things.... so I'm  sitting at my computer trying to ignore his request to smell his "god knows where they've been" hands..... as I turn to stand up from my chair he shoves the sleeve of his hoodie directly in my face coming in full contact with my nose.

To say it smelled is an understatement....yeah it smelled, like the third row of a Bob Marley Tribute Concert. What did you do...... smoke a big fatty this morning while waiting for the short bus? That's when this turd decides to wipe his sleeve on my arm.....That's when I say "Are you completely insane?" ,  you better pray that those drug dogs don't come scratching at my classroom door or I am going to personally feed you to them.......Let's just say I am not sure which this kid was more scared of....the dog's or his bitch of a teacher.