So I was going through my emails the other day and instead of opening each one individually I decided to use the “next” button that automatically opens the message and then allows you to assign it as spam if needed. So as I tried to exit one particular message a “chat window” popped up of course trying to sell me a product….Well at the time I was a tad bit bored, and well when Kat is bored her evil side tends to rear its ugly head as she fucks with the minds of internet marketers named Kelly……………
Kelly Says: Wait! Don’t Leave! My name is Kelly and I have just been authorized to give you a CHAT ONLY DISCOUNT!
CLICK HERE now to get $0.99 SHIPPING!
Kelly Says: Just type 'HI' or 'Hello' in the space below to let me know you are there.
Kelly Says: Anyone with a computer and basic typing skills can Earn up to $943 Per Day!
You: Wow dats some real dough, How do I get in on this nifty scam???
Kelly Says: No, this is not a scam! We are so confident that this will help you make money that we are offering a 100% satisfaction guarantee!
You: really? Tell Me More > insert eye rolling
Kelly Says: This amazing offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal.
You: hummmm it's such a tempting offer Kelly tell me more
Kelly Says: Remember, this offer for Chat Only Discount is available for a limited time only. It may not be available tomorrow. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this $0.99 Shipping Offer now.
You: That’s funny I see you’ve sent me the same email for ten days straight, seems to me the odds are it will be available from now to eternity!
Kelly Says: Okay great. CLICK HERE and fill out the page in order to take advantage of this great offer.
You: Seriously are you even reading what I am typing ? You are a bot kelly
Kelly Says: My name is Kelly and I'm a live virtual agent.
You: Don’t you mean virtually live?
Kelly Says: I am sorry, but I only have limited information. For more questions or information, please email us at support@googletreasurechest.com to contact customer service.
You: How do i get your job Kelly, seems so simple even a monkey could do it….
Kelly Says: You will get Real, Live support to answer any question and help you every step of the way! CLICK HERE now and get your kit for just $0.99 Shipping!
You: Why don’t you just round it up to a dollar I hate odd numbers Kelly.
Kelly Says: Our fine-tuned, proprietary software is 100% Guaranteed!
You: Guarantee me to be out a whole buck? Hell I could get two soft taco’s for that buck.
Kelly Says: You will have exclusive access to professionals, tips, tricks, and videos with insider information!
You: Ok You are totally boring me with all this tips, tricks and video nonsense...wait that just sounded like something a pimp would say…Anyway, Do you have a boyfriend Kelly?
Kelly Says: I'm sorry, but I only have limited information on our products, and the ability to offer you this discount. For more questions or information, please email us at support@googletreasurechest.com to contact customer service.
You: lol, so do you like it rough?, just wondering
Kelly Says: For more questions or information, please email us at support@googletreasurechest.com to contact customer service.
You: customer service can tell me if you like it rough? Is that how you got this super terrific job, give a few knob jobs during the interview??
Kelly Says: For more questions or information, please email us at support@googletreasurechest.com to contact customer service.
You: Isn't this your job to answer my question , hell if you want my 99 cents you gotta earn it, times are rough Kelly
Kelly Says: For more questions or information, please email us at support@googletreasurechest.com to contact customer service.
You: kelly you aren't doing a good job of convincing me that you are not a bot, try harder
You: helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo
You: geezze customer service isn't what it used to be, stupid bots
Kelly Says: OK to end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in the upper right.
You: No i am having too much fun
Kelly Says: OK, Thank you for your time. To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.
You: You can’t make me Robot Kelly
Kelly Says: Fantastic Click the link to order for only 99 cents.
You: What are you FUCKING Kidding ME!
Kelly Says: Your chat has been disconnected…………..
You: joy killer…….. just when it was getting good
Ok I am still convinced she was a bot….a bot that doesn’t like the F-bomb and may or may not like it rough….my money is that she does though…..
Thanks for the blog Fodder Kelly.
Posts
That's fuckin hilarious Kat! Oh also I found this T-shirt I thought you might like, I know it's totally wrong but still funny.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/autistic-kids-rock/
OMG, that was priceless! Loved it!! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it. :)
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Eddy
LOL! Reminds me of when I have to call UPS for work. I respond to a voice activated system and if I respond with "Duh, yeah!" or "Duh, of course!" it would respond with "I's sorry. I don't recognize your response. Would you still like to speak to an agent?"
ReplyDelete