Stop Passing Notes

I have this student whom I call Jethro, basically he's a complete pain the ass emotionally impaired kid who is completely too comfortable in my presence. Anyway typically his permanent seat in my class is out in the hallway. Not completely my doing, it's what we call his "safe" place where he won't be compelled to either kill another student or myself.

Anyway one day last week I had an abundance of kids either absent or spreading their joy with the social worker for the hour and in a rare instance I only had six kids in class last hour, one of them being Jethro.

Of course he can't be quiet and work with out bothering everyone within a 20 foot radius of him so I wrote a note to him in an attempt to get him to be quiet. He of course responded pushing his response back to me across the desk. So I made a deal with him, he could stay in my class as long as he didn't talk and only wrote down what he wanted to say. The conversation that transpired follows....if anything it's entertaining to say the least.......... my responses are in italics

Teacher: Close Your Mouth
Student: How about you!
I don’t have to.
Well Last time I checked I am white and a U.S. Citizen.
So That means you don’t have to listen to me, humm
Your mad because I am hott and your not!
Seriously you are delusional, Oh please, you are so misguided.
I branded my butt
What does this have to do with anything?
It’s sweet and my butt huts so I can’t stop thinking about it and I made 20 bucks.

Someone paid you for your stupidity, wow aren’t you the man.
Ya, I am the man but I owed him $10 so…
Ten buck profit for permanently disfiguring yourself ---sweet!
So I’ll have a penis on my butt forever.
Like I said ---stupid is as stupd does.
Your stupid because you spelled it wrong.
I was distracted with all these other punks…and it’s You’RE not your

Do you wanna take this outside?
Is that a threat, sure I’ll take one for the team.
I took one for the team
And you will forever remember it.
I’ll forever remember the day I wrote notes with the teach.

So are you going to take your history test now?
Are you going to shut up about it now?
NO!
There's my answer then.
You are a complete pain
I am in pain.
Well that’s what you get for branding a penis on your butt. That’s your fault.
No you put me threw it.
You are insane, your stupidity is your own fault.
Maybe if you did you’re job right I wouldn’t be so dumb.

I didn’t do the damage, not my fault and you aren’t dumb about school just your choices, and it's Your not You're
Good Point
I win!
In my heart your a complete loser
Wow Thanks , if insulting people were a job you’d be a millionaire.
That’s how I roll big pimp
Nice
You are a hater
What ever, I'm just stating
I am going to go now , Love you teach
I love when the bell rings, later


I seriously think I need a reality show because I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.