Emotions are a jagged little pill, and it boggles my mind how they can lead to so much angst in my attempt to understand them. Keeping them in check only adds insult to injury as those around you just don’t get that you are trying to let your emotions explain your true feeling and that you aren’t trying to let them run amuck.
So you store them away in that secret box kept hidden somewhere deep in your soul……..
It’s just that your heart and mind can’t begin to fathom the true depth and intensity of the feelings that are hidden away in that secret box. It’s the place where your love for a child dwells, but it is also a dark place, where you store pure hatred, the deep abyss where all those intense feelings live and are stored, because if turned loose they would be in such pure, raw, uncontrollable form that even the sanest of minds wouldn’t be able to manage them. And so it goes another mask is added to the collection…and you’re the only one who knows.
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I can't put my finger on what it is but your writing style just draws me in like a good book :-) does your secret box allow for change? Hatred can sometimes pass by unless it's held onto it, it depends how sealed the box is i suppose
ReplyDeleteGreat writing. I too am drawn in. I think what has happened is that a lot of people today have lost that brilliant emotion known as self control. We used to practice it on an everyday basis or at least our families instilled that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. But now the anger seems to bubble and fester...leaving one itching to release into the air. Like you, I struggle with emotions. Give me a few glasses of wine and it pours out like a bad case of food poisoning. I am making a conscious effort to keep both in check, but at times it is really hard. Love your thought-provoking writing.
ReplyDelete@ weird, I think my box does allow for change....I have to say it was once stuffed to the brim, as time has gone on some items have been released, or at least diluted. But the box remains, I think it always will
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and the complements.
@ Annie , I am glad to know I am not the only one who struggles with emotions, I have long felt that my emotions are a curse. Always getting the worst of me at the worst of times....but as much as I curse them in the end I know I would be an empty vessel with out them. Thanks for reading and commenting
ReplyDeleteI was raised by parents and teachers telling me to hide and mask my emotions, I tried to do so and got pretty good at it when I was in my late teens, but later in life when I went traveling to places that were much more honest with their emotions, I decided this part of my home countries culture was dishonest and even a bit perverse. I believe it comes from our British belief in "Keeping up appearances".
ReplyDeleteI tend to be very honest with my emotions these days, but do have to keep a short reign on them. I could care less if others do not like it. I have found this keeps most bad people away, and good people close to me.
A jagged little pill?
ReplyDeleteI think it's usually a gigantic "horse pill" for most of us, only we do seem to store them as you've said and can sometimes explode like lava.
Though exploding isn't always a bad thing.
The only way to get rid of the hot lava in your secret box is:
"Forgiveness" as its then you realizing you were the prisoner in your own box.
Crazy? Yes, I know, but sometimes crazy works.
You sure write beautifully. :D
Great post, Kat! I've come to the realization that concealing those feelings and emotions doesn't do me, or anyone else, any favors. Writing has certainly been a fantastic outlet for channeling the stuff in the secret box. Kris
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. Some things are just best left wrapped up in a little box and put to one side. Closure, as my dear wife would say.
ReplyDelete