Friday, June 24, 2011

Don't remind me of my failures....I've not forgotten them

I seem a bit off today.....maybe it's because I'm off work for the summer and taking my meds later in the day. Or maybe it's just one of those days when the dark place rises up to the surface despite the medication. That familiar place that slowly creeps into your mind with each hour that passes in the day. Try as I might it's just not budging no matter how hard I try to push it down. Today my dark companion demands my attention, taking a firm grasp on my psyche. 

The worst part is the negative thoughts....the reminders of past failures. I certainly don't need to be reminded of my failures, as I've not forgotten them in the least. It's funny how your own mind can be your worst enemy at times, feeding you untruths and negativity. I take solace in the old saying "and this too shall pass" least I am hoping it does.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Oh I can Top That!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I can Top that!...............

You all know what us teachers talk about when we’re sitting in the teacher’s lounge right? Well you’d be surprised, at the stories that are revealed both professional and personal. But as life is there is always that one douche bag who tries to one up your story…and in this case I humbly bow down….

So my conversation begins with someone asking me if I’d ever taught General Education or as they bluntly put it “The Normal Kids”.
This led into a conversation of the lone year in which I taught 2nd grade, which by the way I hated. Why?  Field Trips……..they are like hell on wheels especially when you have to deal with 30 + second graders.

Anyway I went on to tell about my field trip from hell to the local zoo. Here I am with my group of students enjoying the first exhibit of the day the ape house. We weren’t in there more than 5 minutes when an ape decides to take a shit in his hand, which in itself is disgusting enough but then proceeds to smear said shit all over the observation window.  Personally I was just happy it wasn’t a cage cuz I might have had monkey shit all over me.

Now getting back to my earlier point about Mr. One Up Ya. He decides to share a personal story about his grade school experience. Seems when he was in 2nd grade he and his class were practicing for their Christmas pageant, when he felt nature calling. Being one not to get in trouble he decides to take care of the issue right there---That’s when he shit his pants, right there on the stage!.  But that’s not all-Somehow he’s able to nonchalantly wiggle that log out of his underwear and down his pant leg where he …….wait for it….simply walked away from it. Ok, first admitting to your colleges you shit yourself in 2nd grade isn’t disturbing enough to admit you left a duce on the floor for the janitor to clean up is just gross….But admitting it to you colleagues? That’s just sick, and well I will succeed to the trump card.  Oh and yeah Teachers can be crazy, laterally.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Isn't it Ironic?

So I've blogged before about my most embarrassing moment in my teaching career in my teaching career- it involved me falling out of my desk chair onto the floor in front of not only one class but 2 classrooms full of students..year if you missed it the first time around tough shit I am not reliving that traumatic event. However just as I thought I'd never completely get over that trauma, I go and trump myself as usual.

My last hour of the day is my smallest class but ultimately my most high maintenance. So I've got a rocking PowerPoint up on the board and I'm going over various "science" topics...of which I will not bore you with the details...when I hear my phone ring in my classroom. In an attempt to walk over to my desk to answer it, my foot becomes tangled in the cord to my projector. The next thing I know my foot is being yanked out from under me and I'm being flung through the air like mullet on a Bam'a beach.

Now none of this was FUNNY,..(ok I admit it was funny as hell), if it weren't for the fact that I regularly encourage my student to make fun of people who fall down. I know sounds cruel and intolerant.but I look at it this way. I figure what the hell there are few times when they are not the butt of everyone's jokes, so why not give them a regular opportunity to make fun of others. I celebrate this right of passage with what I call "Falling down Fridays" a visually stimulating collection of you tube video clips of people falling on their asses.....and we laugh...unfortunately this day they were laughing at ME...Isn't that fucking ironic.