Saturday, November 2, 2013

I was gone before you cleared your throat

You told me I was a hurricane, once; sucking people up out of their lives like frogs from their cool, happy creek beds and dropping them, shaken, somewhere hopeful and bright.

You told me I felt as natural as rain, like soap on your damp body. You said I left you cool but sweet; I was proud of the traces of me on your skin.

You watched my eyes burn but didn't tell me I was beautiful. I forgot what to do when a man doesn't say that. Each day you cleared your throat and didn't say it

I blinked and began to believe I was gone. You called me a contradiction one day, pointing out in my hair the chewed pencil that held it, then breathing softly on the silver and diamonds embedded proudly in each of my ears.

You said I spoke like a shotgun at three in the morning after our talk left me pale and raw, and I envied your aim; your sharpshooter hand so steady it almost didn't hurt as I bled birdshot words.

You watched my eyes burn but didn't tell me I was beautiful.I forgot what to do when a man doesn't say that. Each day you blinked, cleared your throat and didn't say it drove me closer and closer to gone.

You watched my eyes burn. For you I was beautiful, but I'd forgotten what to do when a man says that. That day I didn't blink, and when you finally said it I was gone before you cleared your throat.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Some say........

It's really amazing what time can accomplish. It can mend hearts, clear the mind and put things in perspective. Some say time heals all wounds, I am not sure that is completely may put a band-aide on the weeping wounds but there are still little fractures that on a bad day begin to ooze with emotions and the the next thing you know you are right back to square one. The loneliness, pain, and angst of former trespasses that are felt deep in your gut. Time, yes it has a way of working on the soul, but not always as we hope. It's not what I'd hoped for

Saturday, August 24, 2013

That's how you found my blog???

Every once in awhile I look at some of the key words that lead people to my blog. Most of them don't surprise me,,,,short bus jokes, licking the windows on the short bus, special "ED" you get the picture.

However, I do have the occasional unusual key word pop up like the following:

Dr.suess= what the hell is this shit?    I couldn't agree with you more!!! I've been asking myself this question since I was in Pre-K. Anyone whose regularly read my blog knows of my distain for Dr. Suess and his endless rambling of nonsensical words. Would it kill you to write some REAL WORDS Dr. Fruit Loops? Sorry my inner 3 year old rage came bubbling up for a minute there. 

But I think the most interesting, yet completely disturbing keyword that popped up was :  Massaging Testicles............humm, it's not that I'm against massaging of said Testicles, I just don't think I've ever discussed such acts on my blog....just not getting that key word connection....or maybe I drunk blogged something....ok off to check my post archives for some missing balls....

Friday, August 23, 2013

Throwback Friday

With the school year fast approaching I thought I'd go retro and share with you part of a post I published a few years ago....(cira 2006 Yikes!) about a group of my the time they were 7th graders, and graduated this past how the time flies! And just to make one thing clear, they are still as goofy, unpredictable, hillarious and well challenged!

Read on.......
So as I was saying life is always interesting in my room. It is amazing what you observe these kids doing when they "think" you are not listening or watching them. Last month we had oh let's see 8 or so days of state standardized testing, and well my kids don't do too well on them because they are written at grade level, which they are not working at. So they try to do their best and well fill the rest of the test session time with odd little actions, this is a list of just a few of the things I observed them doing while they should have been concentrating on their test:

70"s Boy tapping out the tune "Smoke on the Water" with his pencil on his desk, ya got to love a 13 year old who knows who Deep Purple is! Followed by his obsessive habit of rubbing his nipples when he becomes frustrated, what? At least it isn't something else!

Various antics by another student whom I fondly refer to as Creepy Boy. Why do I call him that? Because I have an uncontrollable obsession to shower off the creepy feeling he gives me daily. Anyway he took his pen and hooked the cap on his lower lip so that he could shove one end of it up his nose by moving his lower lip, another favorite of his, spraying his spit on the student seated in front of him, or taking his cd that the test was recorded on and spinning it like a top on the end of his pencil.

Then there are all my other students who are constantly asking me to explain the answers to them, ummm it's a test I can't help you ---helloooo.

The gum that comes out of the mouth and is stretched two feet in front of their face and somehow ends up all over their answer document, humm think that one might just get tossed because it gets stuck in the scantron.

The student who removed the batteries from their cd player and was putting the end on their tongue to see if they could get a shock, hummm do I tell them that, that trick only works on 9-volt batteries or do I let them go through life not knowing that nugget of information? hummmm decisions, decisions.

The students who think it's cool to play connect the dots with their answer documents in an attempt to recreate the image of a penis. And of course the student whom I have to proctor each answer for because they broke their hand one day into this testing session from hell.

But the winner of the gold star for this years most memorable "Special Ed" moment during standardized testing goes to 70"s Boy who somehow managed to flip himself out of his chair and land flat on his back during the middle of one testing session. Ok the sight of him laying on the floor with his legs straight up in the air was priceless, I am chuckling even now as I write this, but the kicker was his explanation of how he managed to accomplish such a feat---I was trying to swat a fly, damn must have been one big fly.

See told ya life is never boring in my classroom.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July 

Why don't you sharpen those cleats while you are at it!

Just Baseball???? I think not, at the least this is dirty and reckless playing, no matter what team is at the receiving end...

Sunday, June 23, 2013

My Sunday Secret

So I didn't actually send any of these secrets into Post Secret, but One of them is a secret I share....guess which one.............

He's alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love it when people come out of the woodwork, was so pleased to see BadVlad comment on my blog! Sorry it took me so long to  see your comment Vlad but glad I did! I guess I need to be more attentive cuz I had like a zillion of other comments too....too bad they were all spam! Ugh!

Friday, April 12, 2013

My evolution as a blogger

I've been blogging since 2005, and yes that seems like a lifetime in some ways. And as I look back on my presence in this world of self proclaimed writers I ponder how I've changed over the years. I definitely feel that I have blossomed as a writer, looking back at some of my older posts I am kind of amazed at the words that flowed on the page. Wait I wrote

But part of me is also a bit sad when I read those old post because they are filled with so much angst, and pain. I'll admit it I carry a lot of shit around, unresolved feeling, thoughts and some completely dark shit. I can't change that, I can only deal with it and the one way I deal with it is to write about it, and well take my meds lol.

So I'm onto the next phase of my blogging experience, continuing to dig deeper and peeling back the layers to get to the real stuff. The stuff that's buried deep in that abyss of my psyche that needs to be dealt with no matter how painful, raw and messy it might be.

Look who's back, back again

Ok seriously I can't believe I haven't posted since my birthday. I am a pathetic blogger! Honestly my new job assignment this year is kicking my ass. This job is completely impossible and sucks every spare minute of time I have in life. In essence the past 7 months have been a compete FML experience. But I've decided fuck it and I'm taking some time for Kat's back and she's going to be in rare form. Hold on for the ride bitches lol.