Thursday, December 31, 2009

A little piece of Advice

So It's New Year's Eve and let me tell ya I am ready to put 2009 behind as you are getting your drink on tonight ringing in the new year take this little piece of advice.................

Drink Responsibly and .......................

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Santa you suck

So my blogger buddy Doug over at Doug's Daily Gripes posted his traditional letter to Santa this year which was of course like all his posts was freaking hilarious. Click on the link and go read it people, it's funny. Anyway it got me thinking.....if this is what Doug sounds like as an adult writing to Santa.........what would he sound like as a child?...............well I think it'd sound a bit like this......

Make a decision already

I have this bad habit of angonizing over stupid stuff, especially when it comes to decorating my house. I guess you'd say I have a rather formal taste when it comes to decorating but making decisions about changing the slightest thing puts me in a panic. Last year I just put up new drapes in my music room and formal front room, that in its self was a huge step for me. I had been contemplating changing out those drapes since the first day I moved into this house, it only took me nearly half a decade to find the right ones. Ugh! I don't know why these kind of decisions just seem to kill me, make a decision already!

Anyway, I've been thinking about my living room furniture lately. Now I spent some good green about oh 6 years ago on two six foot sofas. Bought them from a local furniture shop that had a good reputation for selling quality stuff that lasts and bought them in a chennele fabic that they swore was the most durable fabric on the market. And I have to say it's worked out good but I can see in the near future that I'm going to want something different so it's time to start looking now, cuz as I said It will take an eternity for me to make my mind up on what kind and style I want.....I am a bit fond of those new lounge sectionals you know the kind with the one end thats longer than the rest of couch...yeah I could definately see me parking my ass on one of those and not moving for hours.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

If you are going to waste some time anyways, you might as well..............

Ok guys, I know a lot of you surf the web during down time at work so why don't cha check out this website when you are goofing off next time...yes  I am talking about you Doug....anyway go to and earn some grains of rice to feed the hungy world wide.  But I have to warn's addictive! 

  It is a non-profit website that donates grains of rice to the hungry around the world in exchange for your FREE participation in their vocabulary trivia.  This website was started in 2007 by a man named, John Breen.  United Nations World Food Program (WFP) has since taken over the website and it runs completely non-profit.

When you go, there is a vocabulary word and four possible definitions.  Simply click on the definition that you think describes the word and if you are correct, ten grains of rice are donated to the WFP.  If you are wrong, it simply goes to the next question and will go back to the question you answered incorrectly later.  The correct answer is shown after each question, so if you get it wrong, you can pick the correct answer later.  All grains of rice are donated to the WFP on behalf of the sponsors that advertise on the website.
If vocab isn't your thing, go to the "Subjects" tab and choose another category like: math, chemistry, art or geography.  There are also different languages to choose from too, so if you want to sharpen your Spanish, French, German or Italian, you can donate free grains of rice by enhancing your foreign vocabulary at the same time.
Although ten grains of rice per correct answer might not seem like a lot, think about how much rice could be donated if everyone introduced someone to  It's absolutely free to play and the rice is being donated to needy, hungry people around the world.  Everyone can benefit from visiting this non-profit website and feel good that they are going some good too!  So go on , click the link I know ya want to.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


Word on the street is that Today is my Birthday !

Friday, December 25, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

I don't remember it being this exhausting

So I recently spent some time with a one year old and unfortunately the house we were at wasn't exactly baby proofed. After I found him in the bathroom emptying out the contents under the know all those fun things to play with like toilet bowl cleaner, windex, and oh every baby's favorite spray air freshner...and this was all before I caught him playing in the toilet ...the water was clean but still uck.

So instead of just letting the little tyke aimlessly wander around the house hand picking out all the toxic waste that seems so appealing I started closing some door and using the containment method. You know keep thim in one room and watch em like a hawk. Of course that only works for so long . So Needless to say the house needs baby proofing so time to look into some quality baby proofing products like child safety locks and baby gates.  Especially for that damn toilet!  .

Homework means do it at Home

My school recently called an emergency meeting and  had some conversations with parents about how their kids are struggling in their math classes this year. Of all the classes these students are failing miserably at is Algebra. It’s a simple situation that these kids need math help and because of class loads there 
simply isn’tenough one on one time. Parents have to offer their kids some help at home simply put.

Unfortunately because of the raised expectations of the state standards many of the parents can’t help their kids because they don’t have the skills to do so. When this is the situation online Algebra help can be helpful. You can find some free online math help out there which is fine if you just need occasional help here and there.

But if you need more substantial Algebra 2 help you can use an online math tutor. In these scenarios the student works one on one with a tutor in a web environment on their home computer. Using a virtual whiteboard both the tutor and the student converse and work out problems together. A nice way to find some  online math answers for yourself or you child without the hassle of searching all over the place for it.

Monday, December 21, 2009

One Rung at a time

There is a theory that I studied extensively in college, Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs. This theory contends that as an individuals basic needs are met, they seek to move up or satisfy higher needs within the hierarchy. The basic concept is that the higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus once all the needs that are lower down in the pyramid are mainly or entirely satisfied. Self growth creates an upward movement in the hierarchy, whereas regressive behavior pushes needs further down the hierarchy.

I'd like to believe that people that you connect with help you along all levels of the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, including the ultimate goal of self-actualization. When you simply aren't able to communicate with someone on a fundamental level, be it language or difference of beliefs or opinions or personality, it completely undermines your ability to achieve the last level or two of needs.

Sooner or later, you feel like you're missing something, and you feel empty or inadequate. Be it your faith or that connection you have with people, or that burning desire to find your own place in the world, I think that the people I get along with the best make all levels of the pyramid seem within reach.

Maybe it'd be easier to think of it like ladders going up the  pyramid. Each person you meet is a ladder of a different height. The ladders of the people you truly connect with are a lot taller and oftentimes seemingly insurmountable. To get where that ladder will take you seems precarious and risky. But you know it can take you higher up than the shorter ladders you've been climbing.

When you've fallen off of a high ladder, you're wary of climbing up another one whose top you can't see. You settle for small ladders and you get to the top and realize you probably could have gotten that far on your own. And those people serve their purpose, don’t get me wrong, but I really feel that for the most part very few people really “get me”.

As humans, we're bound to slip now and then. Tonight I looked down and was unnerved by how high up the ladder I was going. The journey up the high ladders is seldom easy, otherwise we'd all be doing it all the time. There is a quote that goes "I never said it would be easy, I only said that it would be worth it."

It may take you longer than you had hoped, but every rung higher is a step closer. It may be treacherous at times, and you will feel that you can't go on, but you have to have faith that the solid foundation that you built will hold. That the journey you've embarked upon is worthwhile. Life isn't just about the destination, but the journey. And you should enjoy every ambiguous step and not be in such a rush as to miss out on what is unfolding around you.

Things that make you go hummmm

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.
( O.M.G.)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the FUCK!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.....)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(That's not what the pig claims!!)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ten Things

So it’s Saturday night, well actually early Sunday morning and I made the mistake of drinking a diet pepsi max way too late in the evening. So I am wide awake and well I have decided to troll the internet for more people to recruit as readers for my blog…just kidding, hell I couldn’t give away free tickets to this freak show called my life.

So here’s the latest topic I am going to attempt to explore. I will list ten things I wish I could say to ten people, but I know I don’t have to courage to say. But I won’t say who the things are about. You may say what’s the point then, well I guess it’s a lesson in reflection in hopes I can say them sooner than later. And well hell this is my blog so work with me while I introspect would ya?
You are my oldest friend, we have been attached at the hip for what seems a life time…and as much as I love your ass I envy what you have, what you so easily and willingly discarded. One thing I can never have and the one thing you are so afraid to claim.
I have said from the beginning that our friendship was unique, well indescribable, and that other’s just wouldn’t understand it. The awesome thing about it is that you feel the same way. It will just be one of those unexplainable things that the average person will never understand. We have had our ups and downs in this friendship and our share of hurt feelings, and you come back again and again regardless, I can’t understand why…why you would put up with my insecurities and hurtful ways…..but love you for doing it. I am very sorry about that incident, of not trusting you…you gave me no reason not to, and I let the evil side of me win when there was no good reason for it.
You never fail to make me laugh, I don’t think there has been a day since we met where you didn’t. You are always there and always available to “listen”, that means the world to me  and I love you for that!……I am so proud of how far you have come in the past 3 years, you’ve taken control of your life and you fight the good fight every day. As proud as I am of you, you should be even prouder.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, you seem to be now, and that is all I can ask for.
I struggle to forgive you daily for the pain that you inflicted on me. The innocence you stole, the confidence you broke. But I am finally fighting back,  for over twenty five years you have haunted me, tortured my thoughts, defined my existence. But no longer will I allow you sick presence in my mind; I am taking back control of my life. It may take another twenty five years but I will be the victor in the end and you will just be a shell of a sick twisted son of a bitch who will have to eternally deal with your sin. God have mercy on your soul.
Sweetie  you are so blessed to have had a dad like you did. He would move mountains for you, and you were the joy of his life. I know it breaks your heart he's still not with you, as I am sure it broke his heart to have to leave this earth way too soon. Make him proud, he sure was proud of you.
I am not the same person I was a year ago, you should know that, I am stronger, and continue to work toward the goal of being whole........thank you for helping me take that first baby step.
Thank you for telling me you needed me as a friend that night I held a handful of sleeping pills in my helped save my life that night....and although you have chosen to step away, nothing will change what you gave me that night.........hope.
I have always wished you would talk to me more, share how you feel, think, that some how we could have bonded more. I always felt that I somehow was a disappointment to you, you never said that but it is how I feel/felt. Your friends would tell me how you always brag about me, how proud you are of me, but I never heard it from you. Funny it should be enough, but it isn’t. I know you love me and are proud of me, I just wish you would have told me. It’s not too late to start.
I know it will happen one day, that you won’t be there, and that scares the hell out of me. I am not ready to let go of you, not now it’s not your time…but what I am really afraid of is that I will never be ready, and the time I wasted being defiant, and rebellious just seems foolish now. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock, I know I would approach our relationship differently. I don’t want to have regrets any longer.

Um I got nothing

 You know when you are asked those stupid questions by your teachers in Geography class ....wait I'm one of those stupid teachers now. Anyway, the clique "If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?" Honestly I hated that question so much I'd just rattle off the first country that came to mind that started with an A, Argentina. Not that I knew where the place even existed but it answered the question and got the teacher off my back. And well it sounded smarter than Australia. To this day I can't think of a single place I would want to go when ever I am asked that question.  

So just for kicks let's take a look see to see exactly what Traveling to Argentina  could offer. Well If I'm gonna go all the way there I might as well go to the capital and check out Hotels in Buenos Aires. Hotels in El Calafate might be an option also. So it all looks great, exotic, and interesting....but what's the cost? Suprizingly it's pretty affordable considering the distance. Seemed so more extravent and expensive as a third grader, who knew.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I was gone before you cleared your throat

You told me I was a hurricane, once; sucking people up out of their lives like frogs from their cool, happy creekbeds and dropping them, shaken, somewhere hopeful and bright.

You told me I felt as natural as rain, like soap on your damp body. You said I left you cool but sweet; I was proud of the traces of me on your skin.

You watched my eyes burn but didn't tell me I was beautiful. I forgot what to do when a man doesn't say that. Each day you cleared your throat and didn't say it

I blinked and began to believe I was gone. You called me a contradiction one day, pointing out in my hair the chewed pencil that held it, then breathing softly on the silver and diamonds embedded proudly in each of my ears.

You said I spoke like a shotgun at three in the morning after our talk left me pale and raw, and I envied your aim; your sharpshooter hand so steady it almost didn't hurt as I bled birdshot words.

You watched my eyes burn but didn't tell me I was beautiful.I forgot what to do when a man doesn't say that. Each day you blinked, cleared your throat and didn't say it drove me closer and closer to gone.

You watched my eyes burn. For you I was beautiful, but I'd forgotten what to do when a man says that. That day I didn't blink, and when you finally said it I was gone before you cleared your throat.

Finally a sign that things are improving

It's kinda good to know that this year is almost over, because financialy in this state it's pretty much sucked. But there are a few glimmers of hope trickling through. A couple of the big three are actually reinstating things like raises, yeah not something we've seen here for a while. They are also bringing back the investing options and matching programs, some extra money you can use to invest in your future.  But if you’re like me you don’t know a whole lot about online trading and need some resources to fall back on.

Firstrade offers low cost and high standards and was named in 2005 as the Best Deal in online stock trading. Their website is user friendly and offers investment guide information , financial calculators, free dividend reinvestment and low commission fees.

If you want to get your feet wet and start investing you’d be pretty hard pressed to find another online broker that can offer an many options and products as this company while still charging low commissions.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The things we do for love.....or not

I am a huge House fan, and Sunday nights I tend to watch a few episodes I've DVR'd and get my fix of Greg House. So I can't remember the name of this particular episode but it involved a guy who begins to have these mysterious heart arithmia and subsequent heart attacks.

Well if you've ever seen the show, there are a number of guessing games that go on with the diagnosis till it's finally concluded that the cause of his heart problems is associated with his memories of a co-worker, who he is secretly in love with and engaged to another man. The only way to fix the heart problems is to use electric shock therapy to erase his memories of her, only problem is that it also erases all experiential memories....essentially he'd forget her but he'd also forget all his memories of his life before that.

Huge price to pay for a broken heart in more ways than one. But it got me thinking, wouldn't it be nice if you could just hook up a few electrodes up to your head and erase just those memories that haunt us? The demons that consume our thoughts, those boogey men that terrorized us as children, and continue to rear their ugly heads in our dreams? Yeah that'd be nice.....but then I wouldn't be able to personally finace that addition my therapist is adding to her house.

Oh and by the way, the guy in the House episode.....the girl wasn't really engaged to another man, she didn't even know he loved her.......You know they say it's better to have loved than to not loved at all......well guess he didn't want to take that chance...seems a bit drastic don't you think.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

It boggles My Mind...

Yeah I know it doesn't take much to do that but this is just one thing that totally dumbfounds me. How the heck can my ceiling fan that is nearly constantly on all year round collect so much dust on it. I mean logically you'd think that the dust would just you know well never stick because the ceiling fans in constant motion right?

Yeah well that's what I think everytime I turn it off and notice how dirty the blades are on that thing. I guess it doesn't help that the fan is white, kinda shows all the dust bunnies that seem to cling with dear life to the blades as the blades whirl constantly.

I guess it's time to upgrade and check out some other options and choose something that doesn't collect so much noticeable dust. But as you all know I am as tight as my bro Jesus when it comes to spending the greenbacks so of course I check out the best deals at Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans. 

Check out this sweet fan! Oh yeah I am thinking this will look awesome in my living room, what do you think? I love the baseball bats for blades, sweeeet! 

Monday, December 7, 2009

You want me to do what??

I honestly don't know why some people stay in the education field anymore, especially when they are faced with some of the crap that is floating around this state lately.  So the Detroit Teachers Union was asked to loan the district some moohla. To the tune of $500 per month, per teacher.....yeah ok.

So let me get this straight, the Detroit school district is over 200 million, yeah I said "million" in debt. Now some of this is due to state cut backs, but the MAJORITY of the deficit is due to administration corruption and well complete bad judgment in financial matters.

So how does the district deal with it, at the expense of the teachers. Come on people what are you thinking, even I feel for the Detroit Teachers, they are on the low payscale in the state to begin with, and to then have to give back what could amount to some of the teachers nearly a weeks worth of pay to bail them out is simply outrageous.  But yet they are expected to keep the high standards of learning that the state has required but with less resources than ever and a teacher that can't afford to buy their lunch in the school cafeteria. Maybe they can apply for the free and reduced lunch program....they probably don't make much more than their student's parents who qualify for every assistance programs out there.  Needless to say this pisses me off, I am just wondering when did taking the Teacher's Oath include taking a vow of poverty? It doesn't, and I hope all those Detroit Teachers tell their administration to Kiss Their Ass when it comes to this supposed loan to the district .

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sometimes I wish I were Deaf

My internet connection took a dumper at the house, so I'm sitting here at Panara Bread getting some work done. Which is all fine except that this coffee I am downing is making me hotter than hell! Anyway, getting to my point.

I'm not real fond of working on my computer in public, it's not that I really worry about invasion of privacy or anything, because the people around me seem to be oblivious to the fact I am sitting with in 5 feet of them. Here in lies my issue. I typically can't stand to listen to other people's conversations in public. Yeah I know what you are thinking mind your own business and you won't have to worry about it. Honestly it's not that simple, I simply can't turn off my hearing. Wish I could but I can't.

Out of all the conversations that I overhear, the most painful are the ones where pickup artists are smooshing some chick they don't know at the table next to me. Honestly I'd rather be sitting in the dentist chair than to listen to their lame attempts. 

Seriously these men need to take some lessons on how to flirt and developing pick up lines because I can see the look of awkwardness and practically hear them subconsciously screaming "get away from me Freak" in their head as they attempt to non verbally give these guys the brush off.

Yeah and you just thought I was mindlessly tapping away at my computer all this time.......when in reality you became blog fodder and didn't even know it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I'm a Humane Society Reject

So I’ve tried to adopt a pet from the Humane Society for the past year, and honestly It was the worst experience I’ve had while trying to do something right in a long time. My local shelter is completely arrogant when it comes to allowing people to adopt a pet…First there is the application process…which includes a zillion questions about what you’d do in certain situations with the dog, do you have a fence, if you do believe that we will check it out. When can we schedule you for a home visit? If we find things in your home that are not dog friendly are you willing to dog proof your property? You will be required to provide your pets vet name and the names of all the vets any of your former pets may have had….we will check these out……….needless to say I didn’t make the cut. Why I didn’t know.

Seriously after the criminal interrogation it just left a bitter taste in my mouth. I think that particular office had lost site of the big picture, and were more concerned with arrogance than protection. Otherwise they would admit to the fact that they had dogs that had been there for up to 3 years. And I am convinced it wasn’t because they couldn’t find a home for them but rather they chose to be too picky. They also wouldn’t ship all the dogs they couldn’t take in to animal control where they are given 30 days to be adopted or they are put down….

Anyway as irritated as I was with them I moved on and actually found a dog at Animal Control to adopt. They actually were grateful for me wanting to adopt the dog and were helpful in getting the dog spayed, licensed and shots up to date. And in an ironic turn of events the Humane Society called me, well the new director called me I should say. She wanted to know why I didn’t adopt a pet….seems my application along with dozen upon dozens of others had been simply stuck in a pile and not touched since they were filled out.

Yep all those people turned away, all those animals that could have been rescued either put down or still at the shelter. How Humane is that?  It did make me feel better to know things were going to change there, and it was going to be run the way it should have been all along. But it’s all good, I found a dog I love and well it’s all worked out in the end for the good. Hopefully your local shelter isn’t run over with arrogance.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

In Everything.......

An incomplete  list of things to be thankful for

My  family, as dysfunctional as they are they are all I've got.

My high heating bill because it means that I am warm and have a roof over my head.

That I'm fortunate enough to not be like the couple I saw outside walmart yesterday, holding a sign saying "homeless and hungry"

That my daughter just told me that she "is protesting the uneven distribution of chores around the house" because that statement alone shows me she has unlimited potential and well has mastered the skill of sarcasm.

Although I hate my new teaching position, I am grateful to have a job in a state that has double digit unemployment.

The little diagrams that show you which way to put the batteries in things, would be lost with out them!

Good friends, past and present. Even though some have moved on their memory and presence in my life can not be erased.

The enormous meal I am preparing today because it means I won't go hungry, and will be in the presence of family.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Yes this is a first I know !

Got my water bill in the mail a couple of weeks ago, talk about having a stroke! Now I am guilty of watering the lawn during the summer but really I’ve tried cutting that back to the bare minimum. I’ve tried to take shorter showers and cut down my favorite ritual of taking a hot bath nightly to just an occasional soak in an effort to save water.

So needless to say I was a bit shocked when all my efforts to save money and become more ecofriendly haven’t really paid off yet. I’m thinking that a big culprit is my toilet and basically the fact that it seems to be in constant use and therefore using more water than I need to use.

Now I’ve always had issues with my one toilet in the fact that it often needs to be flushed several times in order to finish the job. Of course that just adds to my dilemma of trying to cut back on the water bill. I mean you gotta flush, and there has to  be a better solution than ripping out the whole thing and installing a new one, or flushing money down the can by having to flush multiple times.

So considering those options I do a little research. Seems that you can add a “duel flush toilet” attachment to your low flow toilets that gives you an option in flushing. Yep that’s right you can selectaflush which allows you to save water every time you flush. Just need a light flush or rinse then select that particular flush. Need a little more power to get things moving down then select the fuller flush. I like the fact you don’t have to keep flushing to get the performance you want in a particular situation. I can’t begin to tell how annoying it is to me to multiple flush! Ugh! This solves the problem, and you can get a kit to retro fit your existing toilet which saves you money and also conserves water and your water bill.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Here You Go Doug..............................

So you were wondering what my new mailbox looks you like them guns ? Yeah that's gonna leave a mark don't cha think?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Blast from the Past

Of the zillions of blog posts I've done over the years, buy far one post stands out as being the most infamous....It's a post from my old blog, but the post in itself wasn't so much the big deal but the fact that it got picked up and linked by a rather popular educational blog and let's just say the shit hit the fan in the end...anyway I have a lot of readers here that have never seen it so I thought I'd post it ...enjoy

Teach Your Children Well
On any given day, I hear some pretty interesting things as I roam the halls of the middle school where I teach. Some of the things I hear crack me up like one of my female students telling her friend that it’s hard work being “this” stupid.” Or another who shouted to the entire 8th grade wing that “everything’s good in my life now that I’m a lesbian” Alrighty then.

Mostly though, I hear a lot of disturbing stuff. Once as I was sitting at my desk during hall passing, I heard a girl scream, and I mean scream at the top of her lungs, to her friend in the hall, "I got LAID last night!" I felt like walking out there and offering her congratulations on her amazing accomplishment. God knows it is a challenge to find someone to sleep with you when you are a teenage girl with low self-esteem.

By far the most horrifying thing I have ever overheard was said by a girl that was no older than 13. I was running for my life out the door after the final bell…I mean leaving the building, and passed the mass of students waiting by the exit for their buses. This is a particularly perilous time to leave the building for various reasons, not the least of which is that you are likely to overhear students in their first moments of freedom after being held captive in school all day. They are loud. They are rude. And they are crude. Apparently, they are also whores.

So here’s what I heard on Wednesday when I left work: A few boys and one girl were standing together waiting for the bus. One of the boys was carrying a platter of cookies, which he probably made in his "Foods" class. The girl said "I'll give you a blow job for one of those cookies."

Now, you have to understand I have 900 plus kids in my building and I walk past probably every one of them on a weekly basis. I hear stuff that I have to let slide, swearing that would make a sailor blush, student’s dissing each other and teachers, arguments--even if it is my instinct is to turn around and beat the shit out of the offender. If I stopped every kid that didn’t adhere to school rules, I’d never teach a lesson. I didn’t exactly let this girl slide though, As I stopped dead in my tracks and shot her a death stare, this misguided girl realized she had offered a blow job for a plate of cookies in front of a teacher. I simply turned to her and said, "Could you please leave the trash talk for when you leave the building, I’m not interested in the services you are willing to give away in exchange for baked goods.”

When I got in my car, I could not help but think I should have said more. But what? What can I possibly say to a 13-year-old who is willing to offer a blow job for a cookie? The worst part was her reaction, or lack of one. She glanced at me with this coy look on her face, “Oh look I'm so ashamed that this teacher heard me being slutty. I'm so naughty aren't I boys?” I wanted to drag her by the hair into my car and tell her that she was making a fool out of herself, that at this rate she might as well put on the clear stripper shoes and practice her pole dancing skills.

On one hand, I find this story a bit amusing. On the other hand, I find it disturbing. If it happened in a movie that was a parody about how high school girls are turning into cheap whores with low self-esteem, I would find it hilarious. But it was not a movie. It happened in my school, with one of my students, and it was a real girl with obviously low self-esteem who, at the very least, thought it was appropriate to portray herself as a cheap whore.

My response to some of the comments I recieved ..........

*** Those of you coming to this post via the Homeschooling website should read my rebuttal before you post a comment....
(Warning this is a long post so bear with me….this needs to be said) They say in the blogging world……………… That you’ve really not made it until you have your first heckler….well if that’s true I’ve made it a couple times over. You see yesterday I checked my stat counter on my blog and noticed it was going nuts. Tad bit strange because even on a good day I don’t get much more that 50-80 visitors in a given day. My count by midnight last night was over 350, ok it doesn’t take Einstein to figure out somethings up, so I pull up my stat counter account and notice a large amount of the hits were coming to the same entry….my “Teach Your Children Well” post.

So I click on one of the incoming links….it’s an article on a Home Schooling web page…and there was a link to my post in the article. Now to be completely honest the writer of the article was very pleasant when referring to my post…well actually this is exactly what she said:

Recently, my husband came across a blog entry by a middle-school teacher that was so shocking that he waited until our kids were out of the room before calling me over to read it. The blog entry [warning: obscene language] related a conversation this teacher overheard as she left school one afternoon. She passed a group of several boys and one girl (about 13) waiting for the bus. One of the boys had a plate of cookies. The teacher heard the girl say, "I'll give you a blow job for one of those cookies." (Pause for a moment to marvel at how the heck a 13-year-old girl even knows what a blow job is.)

My husband e-mailed the teacher and expressed sympathy for the toughness of her job. The woman e-mailed back a weary verbal shrug and said it was all in a day's work. Now I don’t have any gripes with the fact that this woman chose my post to promote her home schooling agenda, hell kudo’s to her…that’s just good persuasive writing skills at work, and I have to admit it’s a good example of at least one particular problem that middle school teachers face in public schools.

One thing I do have a problem with is the part where she said her husband emailed me and my response. I didn’t recall getting an email from her husband and I checked my email both in and out box back before the post date and ummmmm no you didn’t email me, and I didn’t respond with a weary verbal shrug. Now I am not calling the man a liar it is quite possible that he confused me with another person he emailed, so I’m letting it go.

But had I responded, I would certainly have stated that unfortunately it is sad that these behaviors occur, and would have given a hell of a lot more piece of my mind than a simple shrug of my shoulders, and I would have offered a solution to the problem. But moving on cuz there is soooooooo much more to this story than a fabricated email response. The big picture here was that they linked my post, comprehended it and treated me with respect, so I will in turn do the same.

Now of the over three hundred and fifty hits to this post from the homeschooling website (ummm no I am not linking back sorry no link love from me) I only got feedback from three readers. Well lets just see what my new fan club had to say about me, yes me not my post… let’s break it down….

Anonymous said... So that kind of "trash talk" was upsetting, but underneath your title, you note that you're a "little fucking ray of sunshine". Oh, I see here in the comments section, it says, "Go ahead Fuck with me I dare ya". So you can say "fuck" all day long, but this kind of language offends you? Hypocrite, much?

First off Mr/Mrs. Anonymous, I don’t go around saying fuck all day long. And I never said I was offended by the word Fuck….obviously I use it quite a bit ! What I was horrified by was the fact that she was offering to suck a guys cock for a cookie, and if you had read and comprehended both the post on the homeschool website and my post you would have gotten that.

No I am not a Hypocrite, just because I use the word FUCK along with many other offensive words on my personal blog, which by the way no one forced you to read and comment on, does not mean that I don’t know when and where it is appropriate. Hypocrite I don’t think so.

Onto new fan Number 2: “You're blog is a perfect example of adults who should be an example to teens, and are not. Your blog is ridden with profanity, toothbrushes with jokes on ''ORAL'' ''wankers'' as commenters, and ''Go ahead and FK with me, I dare you'' is the final words of wisdom I see from you. Thank God you don’t teach my child.”

First of all as a teacher, I am not required to be your child’s role model 24/7. I am their authority figure during school hours only and guess what….It is YOUR responsibility to take care of your child outside of school. What I do during my off hours and what I say on my personal blog is my business not yours! You were warned before even clicking through to my site that it contained obscene language…YOU chose to precede. You could have looked away or better yet looked past the two offensive words you came across and looked at the big picture, the message in the post……however you chose to attack me on a personal level. Real intelligent move, and such a good example for your children, does your curriculum include lessons on sticking your head up your ass?

The fact that you then choose to root around my blog to find a post in which to rip me again just further proves your ignorance. My confession post has nothing to do with my job as an educator. And if you had half a brain you’d have realized it was for comic relief…..Charming confession, yes, honest, yes, hypocritical no, rather I believe your judgmental attitude and comments just prove how shallow you are.

Once again I never said I was offended by obscene language…..obviously you and commenter number one have comprehension problems. As for your final comment to me ---“Thank God you don’t teach my children” for that one comment you left, I have had hundreds of parents tell me “Thank God you are my child’s teacher” and that is more powerful than any trolls who could leave me cowardly anonymous comments on my blog.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Conspiracy Theory

Have you ever worked with someone who's seems so completely paranoid that they've just been labeled the fucknut of the workplace. And no smart asses I am not talking about me. But you know what I mean, the boss is always out to get them, they swear that their computer is being monitored, their phone line is tapped and they have the FBI on speed dial on their phone.....

Anyway I am sure we all have "one of those" people to some extent in our work place. I know I 've got more than a few of them in mine alone. I was discussing this exact thing with a co-teacher and they were going on and on about another teacher's paranoia telling me their latest conspiracy theory concerning admin.

But then it occured to me, what is some of this shit they are claiming is true. What if it's like that Mell Gibson movie and they aren't total fucknuts and all this crazy stuff acutally happened? What if they are actually the one living in "reality" and we've all been brainwashed by the evil administration? Ok it's a bit far fetched but I am thinking that there may be some slivers of truth interwined in all that paranoia. Just saying.

No Snow yet.....

Well it’s still not snowing here but I am still thinking about planning my get away as I mentioned a few posts back. Been looking at more Myrtle Beach getaways and came across an Oceanfront Myrtle Beach Hotel.

I like that this particular Myrtle Beach Hotel is actually a luxury condominium not a hotel room. If there is one thing I hate is tripping over bags of luggage and not having enough room to sprawl out, I’ve stayed in condos before on vacation and believe me they are the way to go.

The accommodations at this particular place seem impressive and are in the running for me to consider when visiting Oceanfront Myrtle Beach Hotels.

Oh I can play that game too

I have this kid in my class who’s parents immigrated to the U.S. from Russia, and although the kids have a fairly good grasp on the English language their parents can’t read or write any English at all. Kinda makes corresponding in writing a bit hard when it comes to communicating with the parents.

So after several attempts to send them some progress reports on their kid with no response I did a little investigating. Seems that I was able to get out of Mom in broken English that she did indeed receive my last correspondence that I sent to the house, and that her angelic son so graciously translated it to her.

Here in lies the problem, instead of translating to her that he was miserably failing a majority of his classes he told her that I was pleased with the progress he was making. Humm time to turn the tables on that little wanker.

So what do I do? I decide to translate the letter myself using an online translation service. Oh yeah I busted that little angel using his own game, although he could speak Russian …he couldn’t read it. Yep I just googled name  translation services
and typed up my letter and popped it into the program and presto complete text and brand translations at my my grubby little fingertips.

Needless to say….Mom knows what’s really going on and I have another weapon in my arsenal of teaching tools ….and considering that there are another 5 kids at home that are bound to try the same trick on me in the future I’d say I’m ahead of the game. Point Kat.

Locked Down

Today during 6th hour the principal came over the loud speaker and instructed us to go into lockdown. I have planning that hour so I was in my office alone at the time. So I grab my lockdown procedures and begin to secure the suite my office is in and wait.

Now I've been in several lockdowns, both planned drills and emergency ones, but this was the first one where I was all alone. I don't know it was just weird for me, the school just got too quiet all the sudden and I started to think to myself where exactly would I hide if there was an intruder in the building.

This feeling of panic just washed over me as I scanned the room looking for possible hiding places.....I could hide along the side of the filing cabinet against the wall, that might work if I crouched down low enough to the ground.....then there's the closet across in the hallway...could definately get myself and a couple of people in there.......but no lock on it so I'd have to sit on the floor and wedge myself against the door to really keep anyone from coming into it. But what if they start shooting at the door? 

At this point I'm thinking get a grip woman, but then I think hey these are legitimate thoughts you know. I mean it's a crazy world out there and you just don't know when someone's gonna snap and go on some reign of terror for who knows what reason.

After about 25 minutes I start hearing the dogs barking in the building, which brings me a bit of relief knowing that it was just a drug bust going down and not some fucknut inturder with a weapon. I don't know maybe I just let my paranoia get to me today, maybe I am watching too much news lately. Maybe I'm too painfully aware that just about every 16 year old male in my building has a hunting riffle, maybe forgetting to take my anziety medication this morning is getting the best of me......or maybe I am justified in my paranoria.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Getting Heard

A few of you know that I’ve been blogging for quite some time now, I recently retired my old blog and decided to start fresh with The Short Bus. Like any narcissistic blogger I am always looking for ways to get new readers. I’ve tried a few sites for increase in readership and adsense revenue, cuz you know Momma always needs a new pair of shoes, and a purse, and ok well you get the point.

If you’re looking to add revenue sharing and a joining a fresh blogging community you might want to give YouSayToo a shot. It’s basically an all encompassing site where you can register your blog and share your posts with a community of other blogger which in turn gives you more exposure. It’s also a good resource site that allows you to learn how to make money blogging. What’s also cool about this site is that you can choose a charity in which Blogging for Money can benefit a good cause. Not many sites offer that and it’s a good way to give back when times are tight like they are now.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Daily Peeve

I’ve got this pet peeve lately, and every time I pull up my mailbox it just grinds my ass even more. Last summer some idiot in their infinite wisdom decided to run down the mailboxes of myself and my neighbors along with leaving some nasty tread marks tearing up the grass the length of my lot.
This person seriously mowed those mailboxes to the ground then simply drove off. So here I am left with two of my neighbors mail boxes scattered across my lawn which of course I had to pick up and deliver to them. The one neighbor wasn’t a big deal just simply dropped it off with a note explaining what happened. The other neighbor wasn’t quite as easy. I knock on the door and “grandma” answers, and it’s not until after I’ve gone into this lengthy explanation of what happened do I realize the woman doesn’t understand a word I’m saying. She starts rambling on and on in Arabic then summons the “boy” to come talk to me to translate. UGH!

If that wasn’t bad enough then I had to address the whole –I ain’t got a mailbox issue.
So I go on line do some research for an indestructible mail box and take the time to get the thing properly installed and operational.

So back to my pet peeve….my neighbors….well they didn’t take as much time and well it shows. Every day when I get home their mailbox is hanging wide open, and is slanting precariously down toward the ground… much that I can’t pull up to my box without hitting the door of theirs which in some cases causes their mail to fall out of the box onto the ground.

I know what you’re thinking just get out of your car and walk to the box. Problem is it still happens after I close my box, because theirs leans on mine for support, so I just end up picking up their mail anyways or closing their box and holding it shut to get mine out. I don’t know about you, but going to the mailbox shouldn’t be such an ordeal. Ok done with my petty complaints. Oh and my new mailbox will leave more than a dent in the next guys car. Muahh Muahhhhhhhh

I need some bling

Like most people my investment portfolio is looking pretty meager lately, between that and the value of my house dropping nearly 100g’s it’s enough to make me think I’m not gonna retire anytime soon, ugh.
But if you have the money I’d seriously advise you to rethink buying and investments in your portfolios to include gold. Yep that’s what I said Gold! Why? Well let the history teacher give ya a little lesson. Basically gold has been man’s personal and most important store of value for thousands of years and most people trust in gold more than in paper investment or printed official currency.

When times of economic insecurity have come around, gold is one of the only investments that have remained alive. It’s survived the economic crisis’s of the Great Depression and in the time leading up to Black Monday in October 1987, and in the past decade the price of gold has gone up over 200 percent. Basically when the economy tends to start going into the dumper, that’s when gold goes up. Now if I could  just find that pot at the end of the rainbow I’d be all set.

Planning my Escape already

Even though I haven’t seen the first snow flake of the winter yet I am thinking about summer vacation already. I didn’t go on vacation at all this last summer because money was so tight but I am hoping to get out the east coast this summer fingers crossed.

I’ve never been to South Carolina but I’m itching to go. I know they are famous for their Myrtle Beach Golf. Even though I stink at the game of golf it wouldn’t distract me from considering Myrtle Beach Golf Packages The scenery alone is enough to convince me I am a pro. Even if golf isn’t partially your thing, you can at least appreciate all that beautiful green space that Golf Myrtle Beach has to offer.

I found some info on Myrtle Beach Golf Vacations and I’ve been checking out all they have to offer such as course guides, the top 5 golf packages in the area, car rental information etc. Ok getting back to the reality at hand and get back to grading those papers cuz summer's a long ways off yet. sigh.

X equals What?

I recently had some conversations with parents about how their kids are struggling in their math classes this year. It’s a simple situation that these kids need math help and because of class loads there simply isn’t enough one on one time.

Unfortunately because of the raised expectations of the state standards many of the parents can’t help their kids because they don’t have the skills to do so.  When this is the situation online math tutoring can be helpful.  You can find some free online math tutoring and  math help out there which are fine if you just need occasional help here and there.

But if you need more substantial help you can use an online math tutor. In these scenarios the student works one on one with a tutor in a web environment on their home computer. Using a virtual whiteboard both the tutor and the student converse and work out problems together. A nice way to find some free online math help  for yourself or you child without the hassle of searching all over the place for it.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

What the hell is wrong with People

Sometimes I just shake my head in total disgust at some people. I have to admit I am an Entertainment Gossip Junkie, my focus of lately is that hopelessly misunderstood Jon Gosselin. Yeah I admit I've got some unnatural attraction to that douchebag dad lately. Actually I just think it's our common hate for Kate that motivates it, but hey that's just my take on it.

Anyway I was looking for the latest daddy douchebag news when I ran accross the headline about Cindy Crawford being extorted for money, not that unbelievable, but what completley pissed me off was the headline of the story toting she was being extorted with a "sexy picture" of her 7 year old daughter.  I don't know what sick fucker wrote that article but the last time I checked depicting a 7 year old bound and gagged to a chair isn't in the slightest sexy. It's fucking sick is what it is asshole. Seriously what the hell is wrong with you people that you can't have the moral fiber to recognize that?

And what the hell is with these celebritities and hiring these wacko nannies, I mean come on you've got enough money to hire the best of the best, do a little screening before hand you idiots. And as far as the extorter(s) go I hope you rot in jail ,  preferably with a cell mate who needs a new bitch.

TIme to make some changes

I don't know about you but my senses has been getting an influx ads, billboards, and TV commercials about credit repair. I think just about everyone has become realistically aware of their credit situation, mostly when it not what it should be. With more and more people relying on that credit availability to help make ends meet here and there in this tough economy it's important to keep track of it and improve credit when it's needed

Now we have to do all we can to keep our credit in order, and we need to repair bad credit as soon as we possibly can if we want to survive. Even if you do not have horrible credit it still helps to improve credit scores when ever you can. You will save money on interest rate in the long run by having a better score.

When I went was getting ready to buy the house I am living in I routinely checked my credit and for good reason. I had some really old accounts I closed that were still showing up a open and pulling down my credit score even though they were zero balances they were considered potential debt. So the site you should  go to to learn more about credit repair services is So if your credit is a bit mucked up you might wanna give them a look to get those scores back up.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's that time of year again.........

That' right report card time, and well it's always such fun.....not! But for all the parents who can't be bothered to meet with me for do have the report card and its comments to fall back on. And just in case you need some help deciphering those comment codes us teachers use , Let me do a layman’s translation for ya.

Student is not working to their potential

Basically this means your child sets low personal standards for themselves and consistently fails to achieve them. There’s nothing worse than a kid with an IQ over 80 who consistently scores lower on assignments than my kids that are borderline Cognitively Impaired, how retarded is that?

Student is inattentive in class

In other words Johnny works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap. But as long as I keep waving shiny objects in front of him he’s good to go. Note to self I need some more tin foil.

Student is talkative in class

Look your kid has verbal diarrhea, she couldn’t shut her pie hole if her life depended on it. She thinks nothing of carrying on a conversation while sitting 6 inches from me and when asked to shut her trap has the nerve to tell me “just a minute I am not finished”. I’m seriously considering a muzzle for her.

Working to capacity

I know this will sound heartless but this is the polite way of saying your kid is just a big sack of stupid. In other words the wheels are turning but the hamster died the first day of kindergarten. I hate to say it, but when he drank from the fountain of knowledge….he only gargled, and on top of that he spit out what little he took in.

Lacks effective study habits:

Instead of completing study guides for upcoming tests he draws inappropriate symbols such as swastikas and the confederate flag, oh and don’t forget the other terms of endearment such as kike, gook, beaner and his all time fav my niggar….yeah it’s amazing that he can’t spell his way out of a paper bag but sure as hell can spell all those words right.

And last but not least….

Student takes on a leadership role….yeah more like his friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

***Don't leave me hate mail homeschoolers, and PTA Leaders, if you can't realize this was tongue in cheek then you need to take the stick outta your ass and watch some Cheech and Chong movies while smoking a fattie.

Get with the Program People

I saw this link to a site called So I'm thinking bloggers and television shows oh yeah this could be interesting...hum . But it turns out, it is a site for Direct TV Service  I wonder if they picked this domain name to get the attention of all of us blogger? Well I guess it worked on me since I clicked on it and ended up looking around eh?

 Now I already  have both cable and Direct Satellite Services  in my home....Yeah I know why both but the cable cost is written into my homeowners association fees so it's  a fixed cost. But if  you don't already, or even if you do have another company you might want to look at   Direct TV Deals  that are going on right now. It looks like they are running a special where you can get 3 months of Showtime and Starz when you buy the 129 channel special..

That's not a bad deal considering what I am paying for a zillion channels I could never in my wildest dreams ever watch. But anyway give it a look, and oh and don't believe the hype that Satellite TV goes out everytime it rains, I can count on one hand the times that has happened in the past 5 years to me. And in those cases the power went out too so not like it would have mattered anyway.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

No Regard

Last night I was just getting ready for bed when the coverage of  DC sniper John Allen Muhammad lethal injection came on. Personally I found the questions from the reporters to be for one idiotic and completely pathetic.

I honestly don't give a shit what the man monster had for his last fucking meal, whether he had any last words, how many times the asshole blinked, or how many breaths he took before he died. As far as I am concerned all I care about is that he took his last one. A bit harsh you think? I think not.

This scumbag was a cold hearted calculated KILLER, with no regard to life, and that's exactly how I felt about his life regard. The fact that this asshole even got a minute of airtime regarding his last moments on earth is a slap in the face of his victims and the families they left behind.

But by far the most most disgusting comment that I heard was from one of Muhammad's lawyer who was quoted as saying on his way into to the execution room: "He will die with dignity -- dignity to the point of defiance." The scumbag didn't  deserve to die with dignity, he lost that privilege when he arbitrarily decided to play God and randomly end 10 innocent people's life's, just because he could. I'll sleep easier tonight knowing you've met your maker John, and if I were a betting woman I'd say it's not boding well for you right now.

That's what I get for using my computer for evil .....

There is nothing more annoying to me than when my laptop runs like a friggin sloth. I’ve talked in the past about how much I hate Windows Vista and that evil little blue circle that just keeps going around and around every time I start my computer.

But you know as much as I hate that blue circle, I hate parting with cold hard cash even more.  So I did a little research, do all the usual housekeeping stuff like defraging, scan disk cleanup and it seems to help for a bit but then I am back to the same old crap and slow loading times UGH.

So I decide to delve a little deeper into my problem read a few help forums and come to the conclusion it’s probably a repair registry issue. I’d never used an independent registry cleaner so I gave a lookieloo and found they offer a windows registry cleaner program and guess what peeps the scan is free so it definitely fits into my budget which is well no budget.

Kinda glad I didn’t have to pay for the scan cuz it turns out that an “un” clean registry wasn’t the issue, the only thing my lap top is infected with is being big old steaming pile o’crap.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Show me The Money

Or should I say save me da’ money. It’s hard to believe Christmas is just around the corner and with this economy I’m strapped just like everyone else. So I’m looking to stretch the buck this year but I don’t want to sacrifice quality either.

I’ve been surfing the net kind of regularly for promotion codes for all those black Friday ads that are soon to hit the web, you know when you go to finalize your order and they say do ya have any coupons or codes. Well I’ve never been able to find any in the past that were actually worth my effort spending the time looking for and then I ran across

It’s actually a site worth bookmarking if you are looking to save some moohla this Christmas and are slammed for time to spend hours running around God’s green earth looking for the best deals. Anyway check it out and let me know if you found any good deals, cuz I'm all about the deals this year!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Get your love junk off my Humps!

Now that I'm at the high school I'm not only reunited with my former special education students but also about 250 general education students that I've co taught with in the past 2 years.

Although I've built a re pore with these kids my involvement with them is limited. But you know there is always an exception or two or a dozen to the rule. Case in point, "the trustie stead" so rightly nicknamed this because he used to gallop down the halls of the middle school. I kid you not.

So the stead heard I was teaching in the building and let's just say he's a little too enthusiastic about my new digs. Let's just say the awkward moments have been piling up and I'm about ready to bring out a can of whip ass on the kid.

Awkward moment number one which in hindsight was seemingly harmless, consisted of my name being bellowed down the hall and kisses being blown in my direction. However it did take a sharp turn to the creepy side when a "damn you look fine today" was added to the mix.

Awkward moment number two: The creepy cling. So I'm headed out the door to go off campus and I hear the Stead call me. At this point I choose to pretend to be Helen Keller and put my deaf mute skills to work ignoring his ass as I pick up my pace trying to make it to the safety zone outside of the building.

Unfortunately I wore my heels that day and with what had to be superhuman powers that kid sprinted the length of a hallway catching up to me and cackling me in a full fledged bear hug.If that wasn't awkward enough he added a "you're so soft" Seriously this kid is beginning to creep me out completely.

Just as I was beginning to think my personal space violation quota had been met for the week I got slam dunked again....this time while in the office. I prepare to stand my ground as he makes his approach and begin chanting my mantra: "Personal Space, Please respect my PERSONAL SPACE!" simultaneously extending my arm as if to draw an invisible off limits perimeter around my body.
Of course this kryptonite has no effect on his superpowers and he proceeds to violate my space once again. This time lingering a bit to long which only added to the creepy stalker psycho-ness of the situation.

Now I'm thinking that Admin who witnessed this whole debacle would likely reprimand him. Oh I don't know maybe give him a stern warning about touching me especiall when I make it clear that it's uncomfortable for me.

But NO, they didn't bat an eye, even after I complained it was very awkward. Their take? Wow you've really bonded with your students. UM NOOO! I don't want to "bond" with him and secondly he's NOT my student. So I'd kindly appreciate someone telling him to keep his junk off me.

Needless to say they didn't do anything and I am as we speak, surfing the net for a stun gun to keep the little wanker in line. Ok, so a stun gun is a bit much. I'd settle for a shock collar with a remote range of about a quarter mile. Yeah that should do the trick.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

I profoundly believe that God has a sense of humor and here is proof
Simply double click on the picture to see an enlarged version, oh and check out the desktop files lol

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

Well not dead but I am sure that she is melting somewhere north of my neck of the woods.
Yes my web nemesis is no more, well at least not where I hang out. It's the end of an era in my blogging career. No more Timetheif to call me the Mrs. Robinson of Blog Catalog, to tell me I am a Fuckwhit American and my favorite, a potty mouth troublemaker. Seriously I have gotten better insults from a 2nd grader.

So you can image my delight when I saw this in my inbox the other day!

timethief's profile
This account is currently pending approval.

It's not like it came as a surprise or anything, it was a long time coming. Her troll like behavior had practically ran the place in the ground, sending many more valuable members of the community running and screaming from the place.

But other than that obvious issue, I could never understand why the owners didn't see how she was also costing them money, it is a business after all. The more active members that stay away = less money coming in.

I actually discussed this specific issue on the phone with Tony Berkman , one of the owners of the site. He actually went as far as to ban her but then of course that was reversed by the other owner/partner within 24 hours. So my faith in this actually being a done deal is very iffy.

But the big picture here is that although I am glad she finally got the boot, I feel sorry for the bitch in a way. I know, who knew I'd have compassion for the cunt, but what can I say. Honestly, think of how much energy it takes to hate so much, and hate she does. She's just this incredibly bitter, warped, egotistical, shallow shell of a person who can't feel any satisfaction in life unless she is trying to cause someone to feel small and insignificant. In short she's pathetic, and what can I say it's unfortunate that she may never actually experience what it's like to feel even relatively compassionate or heaven forbid vulnerable.

Oh and I am saying a prayer for the owners of the next forum she decides to hijack, ohI mean join. You are going to need it. Oh and in a lighter note, my compulsion to want to fork someone in the eye has dramatically decreased. Wonder why that is LOL.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

To Delete or not to Delete

Every once in awhile I decide to do some housekeeping and clean out my text message inbox on my phone. So I pull up the menu and start checking off the "delete message boxes" then hit delete.

That's when I recently went into a sudden panic attack thinking I had deleted "all" my messages instead of the checked ones. Normally this wouldn't be such a drama queen moment for me except there are a few messages that I didn't want to erase.

You see the one's I didn't want to erase were the last one's I received from a friend before they died back in June. Since they were intubated and unable to talk, texting was the only form of communication before their death, one of the last texts came within hours of their death. Then of course the one that I was dreading coming from a family member only moments after they left this world.

For the life of me I can't understand why I feel this need to hang on to them. It's like if I erase them I will be erasing the memory of their friendship. I know they are just words on a screen, but I can't bring myself to erase them, at least not right now.

It's weird because every once in a while I get a text from that phone, his daughter inherited the phone and sometimes I think I'm getting text messages from the beyond, which kinda fucking freaks me at for a second. Needless to say I am sure someone else is getting a good chuckle out of it too. Oh and it ends up that I didn't actually delete the wanted texts, which just leaves me in the same predicament. Ughh sometimes I just think about stuff too much.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Fair Play? I think NOT

How is a runner on second base who steals the catcher’s signs any different from the team employee who is located in a booth in the center field score board using a pair of binoculars or a telescope to steal the catcher’s signs like the 51’ New York Giants did. There is no difference. They are achieving the same objective, cheating to gain an advantage, just using different means to achieve their goal.
There is nothing in baseball’s rulebook prohibiting stealing signs, but it’s cheating all the same in my book.

MLB can’t have its cake and eat it too. All general managers and managers have been restricted from using electronic equipment during the game for the purpose of stealing signs in an attempt to give their team an advantage. So why does baseball allow stealing of signs that don’t involve technology? It’s still stealing signs and it’s still cheating none the fucking less.

So I guess it’s just another example of MLB turning a blind eye to yet another issue. You can’t have it both ways MLB either you allow stealing signs as an ‘honorable’ part of the game or you don’t. I guess I am just naive to think that the best team wins on their talent alone. Fuck it, I’m taking matters in my own hands and sending Bud “douchebag” Selig a memo myself then I might just hire someone to shove it up his ass!

Anyway, watch my boys get ripped off by those cheating bastards in Minnesota.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

De Javue

My mind tells me I'm teaching high school, but I could swear I'm still stuck in Middle School purgatory. Why? Because I'm teaching all of the most memorable wankers I have had for the past two years. That's right my sentence in hell with these kids has been extended another year.

So If you're new 'round here, let me introduce you to the cast of characters whose antics past and present will fill my blog the next 9 months.

Now I never refer to my students by their real name here, are you kidding I'm not tarded. This blog is on the down low and I am sure that my administration would not appreciate my warped sense of humor when it comes to my students.

So with that said let me introduce you to the cast of wankers...get your pencils ready kiddies.

First up there is "Flying Butt Monkey Boy" BMB for short. A young man completely in denial as to his homosexuality and feminine side. He's most well known to my readers for his occasional instances of clarity in which his sponge of brain seeks to acquire knowledge and obtain wisdom by asking me such pressing questions such as "Do Chicken's have vaginas?" What can I say he's such an inquiring mind, a definite Renaissance man, yeah I think I'll just take the cyanide pill now thank you.

Next up is Grannimal Boy. A socially retared student whose mother can't cut the umbilical cord. I swear she still breast feeds him. I call him granimal boy because he always wears these matching track suits ever day. You know the kind most boy's quit wearing by 1st grade because they know who ridiculious they look. He spends all day calling the lunch ladies, and anyone within 5 feet of him a mother fucker, I can't blame him though cuz well you know he's gotta go home to Mommy Dearest everyday he's gotta take his frustrations out on someone right?

BBQ- can't take credit for this one, it's actually a self selected nickname which will come in handy when he moves into the big house. He's best know for his rap sheet that includes petty theft, and possession and attempt to dispense his ADD Meds. Now if I could just get him to take those meds instead of trying to sell them for Fry money.

Jimmy Whinercroft, yep he's back and whinining again, and of course telling me to take my anti-bitch meds. But here's the kicker I have his equally annoying and socially dysfunctional brother. Yippee

Bi Polar Betty, she earned her name due to the fact you know from one minute to the next what personality is going to emerge. She either wants to shank you in the eyeball one minute or is your best buddy the next. Needless to say I'm carrying a crucifix at all time to ward off her bad voodoo.

The Anti-Christ, Yeah my regular readers know him as the student who was led away in a straight jacket for an involuntary psych hold at the end of the school year. Not sure how long I'll be graced with his lovely personality, given his latest antics of pitching a fit when he didn't get his way, and stripping sown naked in the middle of the street at the trailer park. But I'm told not to worry...much.. cuz well his meds are working so much better now. Yeah I think I'm going to add a can of mace to my self defense arsenal just in case.

Last but not least, Stalker girl, yes she was a late addition to the fold but what can I say when she heard I was moving to the high school she just had to move back into the district. She's best known for her obsession with finding out where I live, obtaining my home phone number and well every last personal aspect of my life. She's been known to write me endless love letters and proclaim her devotion and undying love for me in front of the entire student population. Probably most disturbing is her habit of hiding under my desk, which is complete creepy and a bit psycho If you know what I mean. Needless to say I check my back seat everyday when I leave work.

Yes kicking off another memorable year where I try not to become completely jadded by the end of the first marking period....wish me luck and light a candle and say a prayer for my safety and sanity. Kat Out


So I've been a bit MIA lately on my blog, to be truthful this new teaching position is kicking my muther fucking ass, all the prepping for two new curriculum's is a total bitch. But I've decided I need to blog to get all my frustrations out, so blog I will damn it!

So I am back Bitches and damn I got some funny shit for ya, so get fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the ride.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Couldn't have Said it Better Myself

I love these guys style

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Talking to the Voices in Head

Can you tell I've been to therapy???? Self Reflection

“Deep down even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and acceptance"

“The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are."

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you”

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different."

“Tears are words the heart can't express"

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Get Over It Already!!!!!!!!!

So I have this pet peeve lately and to put it blunting it is pissing the fuck out of me lately. I'm so sick of these people who have no life going around bitching like a bunch of babies all because someone wrote a derogatory statement or post about them on their blog.

Now I'm not say they don't have the right to call someone out on their bullshit, hell that's their right and damn more power to ya. I'm talking about these butt hurt bloggers who claim they've been "defamed" and they are contacting every social networking media network that ever fucking existed, the FBI, CIA, NRA, NAACP, PETA and even the fucking White House itself to file a complaint about being called a bitch, fucknut or douchbag.

If that's not enough, they threaten to sue said parties, whom they presume are "terrorizing" them online. Seriously, Let it go, no one would even know about it if you little group of like minded fuckhead "friends" hadn't told you.

I can think of some better uses of your energy and "resources" and money than to chase name callers......Wha Wha Whaaaaaaaaaaa. SO get over it you Fuckwits. Ok I've wasted enough of my precious time on this lame shit, now I have post regret.

Walmart Wednesday

What can I say what could be better on a Wednesday morn than a pic of the classy clientele at Walmart

How you think I'm gonna slap a ho without a balanced breakfast bitches? Fuck ya all!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Back to Work Wednesday.....

Ahhhh Priceless