Today during 6th hour the principal came over the loud speaker and instructed us to go into lockdown. I have planning that hour so I was in my office alone at the time. So I grab my lockdown procedures and begin to secure the suite my office is in and wait.
Now I've been in several lockdowns, both planned drills and emergency ones, but this was the first one where I was all alone. I don't know it was just weird for me, the school just got too quiet all the sudden and I started to think to myself where exactly would I hide if there was an intruder in the building.
This feeling of panic just washed over me as I scanned the room looking for possible hiding places.....I could hide along the side of the filing cabinet against the wall, that might work if I crouched down low enough to the ground.....then there's the closet across in the hallway...could definately get myself and a couple of people in there.......but no lock on it so I'd have to sit on the floor and wedge myself against the door to really keep anyone from coming into it. But what if they start shooting at the door?
At this point I'm thinking get a grip woman, but then I think hey these are legitimate thoughts you know. I mean it's a crazy world out there and you just don't know when someone's gonna snap and go on some reign of terror for who knows what reason.
After about 25 minutes I start hearing the dogs barking in the building, which brings me a bit of relief knowing that it was just a drug bust going down and not some fucknut inturder with a weapon. I don't know maybe I just let my paranoia get to me today, maybe I am watching too much news lately. Maybe I'm too painfully aware that just about every 16 year old male in my building has a hunting riffle, maybe forgetting to take my anziety medication this morning is getting the best of me......or maybe I am justified in my paranoria.