Sunday, June 12, 2011

Oh I can Top That!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I can Top that!...............

You all know what us teachers talk about when we’re sitting in the teacher’s lounge right? Well you’d be surprised, at the stories that are revealed both professional and personal. But as life is there is always that one douche bag who tries to one up your story…and in this case I humbly bow down….

So my conversation begins with someone asking me if I’d ever taught General Education or as they bluntly put it “The Normal Kids”.
This led into a conversation of the lone year in which I taught 2nd grade, which by the way I hated. Why?  Field Trips……..they are like hell on wheels especially when you have to deal with 30 + second graders.

Anyway I went on to tell about my field trip from hell to the local zoo. Here I am with my group of students enjoying the first exhibit of the day the ape house. We weren’t in there more than 5 minutes when an ape decides to take a shit in his hand, which in itself is disgusting enough but then proceeds to smear said shit all over the observation window.  Personally I was just happy it wasn’t a cage cuz I might have had monkey shit all over me.

Now getting back to my earlier point about Mr. One Up Ya. He decides to share a personal story about his grade school experience. Seems when he was in 2nd grade he and his class were practicing for their Christmas pageant, when he felt nature calling. Being one not to get in trouble he decides to take care of the issue right there---That’s when he shit his pants, right there on the stage!.  But that’s not all-Somehow he’s able to nonchalantly wiggle that log out of his underwear and down his pant leg where he …….wait for it….simply walked away from it. Ok, first admitting to your colleges you shit yourself in 2nd grade isn’t disturbing enough to admit you left a duce on the floor for the janitor to clean up is just gross….But admitting it to you colleagues? That’s just sick, and well I will succeed to the trump card.  Oh and yeah Teachers can be crazy, laterally.


  1. I call bullshit! Every time I shit my pants it does not come out solid!

  2. Gee I wouldn't want to top that story. EVER!

  3. That IS disgusting. Makes you wonder who the "normal" ones are, huh?

  4. LOL... this is so stupid (but in a funny way)

  5. You're funny! My mom is also a teacher, so I can relate (through her). She also hated field trips... it's like herding cats!

  6. Love both stories but I can't believe he would admit to crapping his pants - sounds like he needs a bit of attention or possible help??