Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Therapy Disected

I have this love hate relationship with therapy. On one hand I know it's good for me, cleansing, and well hopefully healing, but the process sucks. I'm not necessarily talking about the whole breaking down and examining of your emotions....well that part sucks too, but basically just the act of going can suck.

Case in point.........my last therapy session. Basically I have a 40 minute drive just to get to my therapists office, sucky point number one. Once I got there I park my ass in a way too small waiting room and well wait, and wait. This day she's running late, which is annoying when I think about it because it seems like the norm lately.

So starts the dialog in my head while I wait..........

Damn I forgot my checkbook.....shit I hate it when I do that....fuck it I'll have her bill me, not like I haven't personally financed a whole addition to her house. I hope she doesn't have her therapy dog with her today it's so distracting, I really can't get in touch with my dark side when there is an adorable golden retriever laying at my feet..........I wonder if she realizes that I've never seen her in a single outfit that was manufactured post 1985, and what is up with wearing two different shoes?  I wonder how many of her other patients have noticed that, maybe I'm the only one who spends inordinate time staring at the floor in therapy......Damn when is she going to come out here and get me?? She's seriously cutting into my "let's get down to the real problem" time cuz we all know the first half hour of therapy is all fluff, how was your week and how are your meds working bullshit. Those last 15 minutes are when you strip away the bull shit, and get down to the shit that matters, and right now you are cutting into my gut wrenching angst ridden breaking down my wall time.......I wonder if she thinks I'm as crazy as I feel sometimes...........
Then the door opens.................
please come in........................... and the work begins


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